well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just found puke in my bra..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
