Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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