The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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