i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We just shotgunned beers for America
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
