you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize