Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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