I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
