I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
