She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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