Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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