and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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