honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
