too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
