This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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