nut hugger
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
