Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
