Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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