i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
