My nipple is on Facebook.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
