Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
