I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
