Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize