the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
