They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
