you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My vagina just clenched in fear
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