You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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