Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
