I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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