I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
