Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
