It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
