I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
one might say we're banned from that church
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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