I like to think it a success when the cops are called
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
