my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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