apparently the secret to your success is patron
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
