if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
