Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
