I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
