I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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