Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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