he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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