he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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