im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
