Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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