Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.

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(720): I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group. http://tfl.nu/a06b

Replies (7) Good night (5637) Bad night (905)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.

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(313): I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex. http://tfl.nu/ugby

Replies (21) Good night (6223) Bad night (1276)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love

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(732): she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love http://tfl.nu/knwu

Replies (35) Good night (12708) Bad night (1412)
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(312): View more from Illinois

My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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(312): My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger. http://tfl.nu/m23s

Replies (10) Good night (930) Bad night (4919)
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(631): View more from New York

He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.

(205): View more from Alabama

I hate freshman.

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(631): He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them. (205): I hate freshman. http://tfl.nu/44or

Replies (23) Good night (2036) Bad night (5472)
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(240): View more from Maryland

im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.

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(240): im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself. http://tfl.nu/qkn1

Replies (2) Good night (1018) Bad night (2469)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.

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(+44): She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre. http://tfl.nu/gzcq

Replies (5) Good night (2621) Bad night (867)
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(443): View more from Maryland

you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.

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(443): you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life. http://tfl.nu/pccz

Replies (10) Good night (6476) Bad night (1265)
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(406): View more from Montana

well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded

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(406): well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded http://tfl.nu/5ng8

Replies (3) Good night (1963) Bad night (899)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer

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(519): I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer http://tfl.nu/xxja

Replies (11) Good night (2806) Bad night (827)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.

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(203): No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side. http://tfl.nu/0ask

Replies (17) Good night (2827) Bad night (882)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend

(1-775): View more from Nevada

I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman

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(775): He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend (1-775): I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman http://tfl.nu/d80q

Replies (10) Good night (2702) Bad night (1084)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.

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(+44): mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string. http://tfl.nu/2xqf

Replies (15) Good night (611) Bad night (1882)
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(315): View more from New York

Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok

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(315): Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok http://tfl.nu/1uoa

Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (995)
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(631): View more from New York

She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.

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(631): She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her. http://tfl.nu/8434

Replies (5) Good night (627) Bad night (264)

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