I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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