he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.