we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
