Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.

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(603): I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck. http://tfl.nu/e2r4

Replies (13) Good night (812) Bad night (908)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.

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(208): Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible. http://tfl.nu/1gp8

Replies (27) Good night (2782) Bad night (818)
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(323): View more from California

this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude

(765): View more from Indiana

call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing

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(323): this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude (765): call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing http://tfl.nu/wjo2

Replies (41) Good night (1633) Bad night (3176)
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(917): View more from New York City

so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

(1-917): View more from New York City

you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

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(917): so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center (1-917): you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth http://tfl.nu/ukvm

Replies (78) Good night (15426) Bad night (898)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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(978): why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm" http://tfl.nu/ynyp

Replies (64) Good night (6456) Bad night (821)
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(510): View more from California

I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.

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(510): I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK. http://tfl.nu/4l82

Replies (23) Good night (5188) Bad night (1038)
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(229): View more from Georgia

He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.

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(229): He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him. http://tfl.nu/c2pz

Replies (12) Good night (6428) Bad night (1034)
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(818): View more from California

...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.

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(818): ...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread. http://tfl.nu/b6oj

Replies (11) Good night (2566) Bad night (805)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)

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(413): Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option) http://tfl.nu/d3t6

Replies (13) Good night (4046) Bad night (710)
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(305): View more from Florida

i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

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(305): i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes. http://tfl.nu/n4c7

Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (994)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.

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(734): Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword. http://tfl.nu/ec7y

Replies (1) Good night (859) Bad night (364)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?

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(412): Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass? http://tfl.nu/n93b

Replies (8) Good night (1105) Bad night (341)
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(269): View more from Michigan

My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.

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(269): My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers. http://tfl.nu/z1x9

Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (349)
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(626): View more from California

Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.

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(626): Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long. http://tfl.nu/2nw2

Replies (2) Good night (154) Bad night (576)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.

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(603): I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t. http://tfl.nu/mo8v

Replies (4) Good night (425) Bad night (161)

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