Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.