Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.