bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.