sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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