I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
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After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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