i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
