i think my mom watched the whole time
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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