Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
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we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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