that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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