I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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