Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
do herpes really smell.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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