just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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