Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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