left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
