i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
