Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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