ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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