apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
