On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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