I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
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I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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